Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
