they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
