If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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