Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
