I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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