I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
