go do what you do best...puke behind churches
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize