All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
