So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.