After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
