So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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