I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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