wrigley field is MILF paradise
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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