ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
as a side note pls kill me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
