you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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