i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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