would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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