So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize