haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
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