if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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