haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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