im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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