I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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