so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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