i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
