3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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