I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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