I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
