If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
