guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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