problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
