Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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