Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
