no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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