Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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