I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
