I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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