He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
