I heard we made out
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
