Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
