More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize