Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
