so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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