i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
