I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
