Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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