singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
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