I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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