i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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