Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
