My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
