worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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