i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
