You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
