4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
