the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
