i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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