remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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