Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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