Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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