Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
