Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
