im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I have feelings that need drinking.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
