Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
