I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
